Finding My Answer

March 13, 2012 at 7:18 am (Attachment Parenting, General)

I’ve come to realize that the hardest part of parenthood is not the multitude of daily tasks, behavioral goals, messes to clean, or schedules to keep. I believe the greatest challenge of parenting is the inner work it requires.

Being an effective mom involves coming to a place of acceptance and peace with what is. It’s easy to think about what life with kids isn’t, or what I wish it were, or what it should be. But the most valuable parenting comes from focusing on the present and accepting my children for who they are. It involves so much inner strength and confidence; the belief that I am not in control of, but the answer for each of my children.

Being someone’s answer requires an incredible amount of faith, confidence, trust, and presence of mind; inner strengths that are not necessarily so strong.

Motherhood brings up my biggest inner challenges…my triggers, fears, old wounds, emotional insecurities. The work I aim for every day is not task-oriented around my children, but is centered around my own consciousness. It is aimed at…

  • Connecting; keeping a soft heart, an open heart.
  • Understanding;  knowing what my child needs beyond any outward behavior
  • Accepting; embracing fully and unconditionally
  • Seeing; perceiving my children objectively, eliminating judgment

Every day I can do this is a day when my expectations are more closely matched with what is. It’s a day when I feel capable. When my kids feels secure. I am progressively discovering how to be my children’s answer, and  I must say, I like what I’m learning.


  1. Take Time For Training said,

    Your post came at a really good time for me. Thank you for your insightful thinking and articulate way of expressing it. Will definitely share it on FB!

  2. nadine said,

    Wow, what a great insight! I really like what you say, so true it is! Thanks

  3. Bonnie Harris said,

    Absolutely lovely, Kelly. I think I know what you mean by being your child’s answer – it’s not about putting pressure on yourself to HAVE the answers, it’s about being your child’s rock.

    • Kelly said,

      Bonnie, absolutely…and it’s that rock–that secure base–that is essential for getting us through all our parenting challenges!

  4. Kathleen said,

    I have been trying to find these words since
    Becoming a mom 12+ years ago! Thank you for understanding the true challenge and for so eloquently putting it into words!

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