November 5, 2012 at 6:24 am (Attachment Parenting)
Recently, I’ve gotten into a rhythm of exercising. It had always been in the back of my mind that I wanted to work out regularly, get fit, and lose a few extra pounds. The thing is, it’s harder than it sounds to make that happen.
Whenever I set a fitness goal, I quickly get focused on results. And when I’m not getting the results I want as quickly as I want, I get discouraged. It becomes easy to say, “Oh, I’ll just have a cookie (or 5).” At which point, I’m surely not going to get the results that I want!
Lately, though, I’ve been showing up at the gym. Just that. Not really trying so hard, but just being there, going though the motions of activities I enjoy. I did this a few times a week for several weeks. I just made it a point to regularly complete something physical with no pressure on myself to perform, improve, or excel.
I began to get in the habit of being present at the gym. It started to feel right to be there, and I wanted to continue it. When I wasn’t focused on results–just presence–I ended up getting results. Which made it easier to want to be there.
How does this relate to parenting? When making a change in the way we do things, the first step is just to show up. Not to be focused on the results, but just to be present. Attuned. Engaged. Aware. Attentive. That’s what “showing up” looks like in parenting, and that’s what will lead to the results we want. Take time to get into a rhythm of presence with your kids. Move presence from the back of your mind to the front, and focus on being there instead of on the results you want.
First and foremost, make it a priority to show up.