One Principle to Simplify Your Parenting

June 2, 2014 at 12:42 pm (Attachment Parenting)

With all of the tools, techniques, strategies, and “fixes” out there, parenting tends to get complicated. It is certainly easy to fill your parenting toolbox (not to mention your email inbox and social media news feeds) with the latest parenting “how-to”s, “to-do”s and “to-try”s.  Every hour of every day I see a new parenting post in my Facebook feed. I’ve seen pin boards with hundreds of posts about discipline, timeout strategies, reward charts, and tutorials on how to get kids to clean their rooms, eat their food, do their chores, brush their teeth, stay in bed, do their homework…

Here’s the thing. Sometimes parenting can use a good de-cluttering just like a house can. There is much that can get in the way of living parenting  in a peaceful, breathable environment. Clutter free. So when raising children starts to feel like too much to do to “get it right,” here is the one thing to keep in mind that will simplify everything:

Focus less on what you do and more on who you are to your child.

That’s it. When you’re feeling overwhelmed with behavior and the multitude of strategies out there to counteract or manage those behaviors, try to declutter your parenting toolbox. Be who your child needs you to be. That means…

Focus less on discipline tools, and more on communication. Does your child know that mistakes are OK?

Focus less on management, and more on relationship. Are you a person your child wants to come to?

Focus less on scheduling activities, and more on everyday presence. Are you grateful your child is in your life (and does he know that)?

Focus less on finding fault, and more on understanding. Do you know who your child is?

Focus less on fixing, and more on accepting. Can you accept your child for who she is rather than who you want her to be?

Sometimes the “clutter” of parenting can get overwhelming and it’s a good thing to downsize. Minimize. Simplify. Let the worry of putting all the best parenting tools to use at just the right times slide off your shoulders. Then kick it to the curb. Successful parenting isn’t complicated because its not an implementation of a carefully planned discipline or management approach. It’s about starting with the essential elements of the relationship and allowing that to lead.

Focus less on what you do and more on who you are to your child.