One Principle to Simplify Your Parenting

June 2, 2014 at 12:42 pm (Attachment Parenting)

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With all of the tools, techniques, strategies, and “fixes” out there, parenting tends to get complicated. It is certainly easy to fill your parenting toolbox (not to mention your email inbox and social media news feeds) with the latest parenting “how-to”s, “to-do”s and “to-try”s.  Every hour of every day I see a new parenting post in my Facebook feed. I’ve seen pin boards with hundreds of posts about discipline, timeout strategies, reward charts, and tutorials on how to get kids to clean their rooms, eat their food, do their chores, brush their teeth, stay in bed, do their homework…

Here’s the thing. Sometimes parenting can use a good de-cluttering just like a house can. There is much that can get in the way of living parenting  in a peaceful, breathable environment. Clutter free. So when raising children starts to feel like too much to do to “get it right,” here is the one thing to keep in mind that will simplify everything:

Focus less on what you do and more on who you are to your child.

That’s it. When you’re feeling overwhelmed with behavior and the multitude of strategies out there to counteract or manage those behaviors, try to declutter your parenting toolbox. Be who your child needs you to be. That means…

Focus less on discipline tools, and more on communication. Does your child know that mistakes are OK?

Focus less on management, and more on relationship. Are you a person your child wants to come to?

Focus less on scheduling activities, and more on everyday presence. Are you grateful your child is in your life (and does he know that)?

Focus less on finding fault, and more on understanding. Do you know who your child is?

Focus less on fixing, and more on accepting. Can you accept your child for who she is rather than who you want her to be?

Sometimes the “clutter” of parenting can get overwhelming and it’s a good thing to downsize. Minimize. Simplify. Let the worry of putting all the best parenting tools to use at just the right times slide off your shoulders. Then kick it to the curb. Successful parenting isn’t complicated because its not an implementation of a carefully planned discipline or management approach. It’s about starting with the essential elements of the relationship and allowing that to lead.

Focus less on what you do and more on who you are to your child.

13 Comments

  1. Vicki Dolan said,

    Thanks Kelly!!! Full of wonderful ideas to simplify our parenting!!

  2. amyphoenixffp said,

    Thank you for this. It is so spot on for me right now. Principles are much more important than someone else’s idea of how to apply them.

  3. MommyTheorist said,

    Great post. Nothing more needs to be said!

  4. pallasathena2007 said,

    Fantastic post and very good timing for me. Thank you!

  5. k daley said,

    Amen!

  6. meredith63 said,

    PERFECT !!!

  7. Beth said,

    Very well put, children learn so much by watching, then doing and saying what you say. I notice a lot that my 3 year old mimics what I say to my one year old. I caught him the other day saying “good job using your words emmett” so cute.

  8. Aziz said,

    In each of these paragraphs the key word is LESS which is a flexible word.

  9. Adriana said,

    I can breathe now

  10. sadaf arif said,

    we all try to be PERFECT PARENTS thanks for making me realize that being IDEAL PARENTS is a much better option

  11. BUMMYLA said,

    “Successful parenting isn’t complicated because its not an implementation of a carefully planned discipline or management approach. It’s about starting with the essential elements of the relationship and allowing that to lead.”

    Well Said! I Love This! Thanks A lot.

    Parenting Shouldn’t Be Complicated! Mutual Respect, Discipline And Communication Should Be The Topmost Priorities. Kids Learn More By Watching & Observing Us Their Parents, So Be Their Perfect Example To Emulate! Or The Social Media Will Teach Them! Thank You.

  12. Marta said,

    Beautiful reminder thanks!

  13. meredith63 said,

    Perfect!

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